Taking Action
If you’re visiting this website and reading this page you probably have the sense, maybe the nagging feeling, that you are meant for something. Maybe what you’re meant for is clear as day, maybe it’s simply “I know I’m meant for something more than this.
In “It’s a Wonderful Life” George Bailey knows he’s meant for building grand things like skyscrapers and bridges. He’s not alone in that. Others have said things like:
I’ve always known I’m meant to be a father
I’m an artist. It’s who I am.
I just want to make the world a better place
I’ve always pictured my life filled with the people I love.
Like Rumi said, we were all meant for greatness. We really are. Greatness can be big or small— It’s simply what you know, deep down inside, you are meant for. The world is just a little bit better with each person who lives their own personal greatness.
Social hiding causes us to bury our greatness, sometimes so deep we can’t even identify it. Life Beyond the Armor exists to help people reclaim who their whispering voice knows they are.
The life skills you’ve gleaned, the circumstances you’re in, and your general mental health, will all influence how beneficial it might be for you to address your own social hiding. Learning to live beyond your armor is not “all you need to get what you want”.
If there are deeper issues for you to address, LBA’s tools won’t get you there. Some hiding is a natural outcome of trauma and other life experiences. Please seek appropriate help if that sounds like you. But, if you feel social hiding is what’s been holding you back, there’s no question that it’s a powerful path to explore.
If you’ve decided to do so you’ll find your options below in the Offerings section. But, whatever you choose, here are some helpful things to know first:
Social hiding is social! Logically, identifying and gaining mastery over the ways you hide requires (cue the musical sting) being in partnership with someone. Overcoming social hiding in isolation rarely works. Partner up with someone—preferably someone who's also transforming their hiding—who fully believes in your goals and your ability to reach them.
Gossiping and judging others makes it harder for you to feel safe enough to overcome social hiding. The more you teach your brain that people and relationships are unsafe, the more it will protect you. Living in the world of gossip and judgement does just that — It keeps your brain in alert state about people judging and gossiping about you. So here's the thing: Once you stop gossiping and being judgmental, you'll worry less that people are gossiping about you! And yes, it’s entirely possible for you to minimize your judgey, gossipy thoughts and to simply stop having conversations that are based on judgement and gossip. A bonus: It’s a happier life across the board.
You can't "just make it go away.” The painful experience that created your hiding behaviors was real. Embrace that it happened and you were hurt by it. It was formative, and that matters. Your reaction was perfect and beyond your control—your brain was behind the wheel. We can't make ourselves feel a particular way; no human has that ability. And the old saying is true: "Whatever you resist persists." It's easier to gain mastery by saying, "I'm really scared about this because of my XYZ experience, AND right now I want to do this thing I've been hiding from." You have that ability because you're human.
Your inner monologue isn't true. We experience our thoughts as real, but they're just in your head—not facts in the outside world. Ever heard two people argue over whether it's rude to ghost someone? They each believe fully believe their own thought is a universal truth. But there are no universal truths about ghosting, just opinions, guidelines, and maybe widespread agreement within particular communities. The people arguing about it needn’t defend their positions so vehemently; their own thoughts are the truth.
So when you feel terrible bringing only chips and store-bought dip to potlucks because "I can't cook"—that's not the truth. You may need to follow a recipe or learn to boil water, but you are fundamentally able to cook. Your inner monologue will say all sorts of things you don't need to hear, but you can do it. Because you're human.